Yvonne Heimann [00:00:00]:
If you ever feel like you are the engine behind your business, constantly hustling always and still feeling invisible, this episode is for you. Maybe you're just exhausted from being the bottleneck or you are wondering if your story will ever be seen and heard for what it truly is. Today, my guest is KJ Blattenbauer. She's here to share how she went from running on burnout to building a PR playbook that lets women lead confidence, delegate with trust, and finally step into the spotlight without losing themselves to the grind. Get ready for real talk on visibility, leadership, and the freedom that comes from owning your story.
Yvonne Heimann [00:00:53]:
KJ, I am excited to have you today because it seems like behind the scenes and a lot of conversations that I've been having, a lot of us women struggle with this. "Owning our story" and thinking about PR, thinking about showing up and thinking about your transition to when did you realize or when, when did this come up? Where it's like, oh my God, I PR everybody else.
I make everybody else shine. Where am I in this story? When, when did that happen? How did that make you feel?
KJ Blattenbauer [00:01:29]:
Well, I mean, by design, I chose this career to do that. I was originally on a path to become a lawyer, hated arguing, switched to communications, loved my classes. I wanted to be the next Barbara Walters. I wanted to be in front of the camera. And one of my professors very early on said to me, correctly or incorrectly would not be okay. Now, probably wasn't okay then that I didn't have the face for being on tv. And so I took. I know, I know.
Yvonne Heimann [00:01:54]:
I'm like, what the, what does that even mean?
KJ Blattenbauer [00:01:58]:
If we all had the audacity of an average male, we'd all be further on in life, right? You would be having this conversation. But, you know, 19 year old me, I took that to heart and I thought, okay, I love this world. I love telling stories. I'll be behind the scenes. And you know what? That takes the pressure off. That's less makeup. I don't have to worry about my hair. I can show up in sweatpants.
I love talking. I love being someone's hype girl. I'll go behind the scenes. And that's where PR started for me. So by design, I chose to be behind the camera, behind the scenes, hidden. And it wasn't until probably a decade, almost two decades in where I was with one of my clients. She was about to win a major award. It was life changing for her.
It was the same time, it was the pinnacle of what she'd done so far. She was so Happy. And she said to me in the green room before going out to accept her award, like, KJ, you changed my life. This is changing my life. I can't believe I get to go do this. I can't believe I'm standing up there like, you know, it was the tears we were hugging. It was amazing. And I was so happy for her.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:02:57]:
And at the same time, I was like, I have the power to change everyone else's life. And I'm going out of my way to keep myself small. Like, I'm telling everyone every day they have to go chase this. Go do that. Go be in front. And then I'm doing the complete opposite. Why would they listen to me and go do that if I'm not going to do that? And it was then that I started to make the conscious effort to put myself out there more. And I started with baby steps, because like everyone else, I have insecurities.
I've gone out of my way not to do it. So I think coming into your 30s, coming into your 40s as a woman, you get more comfortable with who you are, who your circle is, what you're capable of. You stop caring what anyone else thinks. You're done people pleasing, all of the things. You just become more comfortable in who you are.
Yvonne Heimann [00:03:40]:
I'm just laughing over here because, yeah, that's pretty much also what started to happen in my mid-30s, where I'm like, I just don't give a shit anymore.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:03:47]:
No, I give zero fucks what anyone thinks about me at any moment in time, because I'm coming from a place of service. If I was going out of my way to be, like a villain, like, it didn't start my villain era. Like, I'm not out robbing banks. I'm not trying to hurt people's feelings. I'm not being a jerk to be a jerk. I come from a place of service, so I don't care what you think about me. Because my cringiest moment online, something stupid that I say or do or that someone else might not understand, it might be the catalyst or the spark or the bright spot in someone else's journey. It might be the thing that inspires them to step out in front.
So, you know, am I going to dance on TikTok? No. I do not feel like embarrassing myself. I have no rhythm because. But at the same time, I'm not gonna hold myself back. I'm not gonna be small. I'm not gonna stay in that box they told me to be in. I'm not gonna listen to that guy in 1997 who told me, hey, you know what? You don't have a face for that. Maybe go into radio.
So I think that's a lesson for all women. Just because someone told you that you can't do something, it doesn't mean you can't. Just because someone suggested something for you. No, do what you want to do all the time without any apology, as long as you're not hurting someone else or harming someone else. Stay true to yourself. Chase all of those dreams and then tell me about it. I'll be your biggest hype girl. I'll bring cake to your party.
Yvonne Heimann [00:04:59]:
And I think, don't get me wrong, there's still sometimes voices in my head where I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? You're gonna. You're gonna embarrass yourself and all the things. And I. It was nice to hear that you take a similar approach to it, because what I found for me as, quote, the excuse to get past that is the. My mistakes. And often enough I even tell friends or clients of, just use me as an excuse. Use me as an excuse if you need to get out of something. Me fucking up online is just as much just the excuse for you to be able to do the same thing.
That's kind of how I gave myself the excuse of stopping to try to be perfect and what everybody else expects or whatever, me just being me is a permission slip for somebody else to be who they are. And it's. It is really. It becomes really fun and it is really interesting when, at least for me, when you start getting those feedbacks where it's like, oh, my God, yes, that was completely cringeworthy and completely funny. And here's how it impacted me. When you start getting those feedbacks when. When people do start, hopefully at some point, the conversation with you and you're getting those feedbacks of the impact you had, I think it then also starts nicely stacking up and becoming that proof of, you know what everything is just everybody else's perception.
And there's how many people in the world.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:06:38]:
Yep, Yep. I have nieces. I have nieces now. I don't have kids. I have nieces. They are watching. They're always watching. Like, they probably.
I'm sure their mom's not going to let them listen to this podcast. I've dropped a coup f bombs, but they're watching what I do. And if I'm worried about my weight, if I talk about my cheeks like they're chubby, if I were, you know, if I'm picking at my food or I'm only eating the junk food. Like, little eyes, little ears. I was watching. And I remember when I was a little girl, someone told me I can be anything I want to be when I grow up. And I took that to heart. Like, literally.
Astronaut princess, a pony. Like, I could have been anything I wanted to. I believe them. And somewhere along the line, the world kind of beats you down. And it takes that confidence and it makes you be a. You know, you can be seen, but not spoken. You know, seen but not heard. Like, don't speak unless you're spoken to.
Like, this is your role. Like, And I think that's such bullshit, because, truly, if you can't see a woman in the profession or someone that looks like you in the profession or the job you want, you think that's not available to you, and that's absolute horseshit. Like, if you can see her, you can be her. And if there isn't a her that yet in that industry, be the first one. Don't let anyone else tell you no.
Yvonne Heimann [00:07:47]:
Oh, I came across. So I'm a student pilot, too. So I came across a reel that AOPA had posted. So Private Pilot association, they chose a black female pilot to tell her story. She's like, we didn't have the picture out there that somebody like me could be this. And I'm like, oh, my God, you guys are finally getting it now. Being the first in something and being the one that gives others permission can be rough. And we already talked about that.
You do well with rejection, that you are, quote, immune to rejection. I would love to dive a little bit deeper into it because you have an interesting take on it. You mentioned, and as everybody knows, I do questionnaires before to meet my guests beforehand. You mentioned that you are looking at rejection as data. And I would love to dive a little bit deeper into this to maybe help some of our listeners and viewers to get a different perception on rejection. So how do you look at rejection and what makes you, quote, immune to, like, girl, you're crazy. What the fuck are you doing on camera? When somebody tells you that
KJ Blattenbauer [00:09:13]:
It's a mindset shift, right? Like, you're only offended if it's true. Like, if someone calls me an idiot, I'm only offended if I feel like an idiot. You know? Otherwise, I'm just like, oh, that person's a jerk. Like, you take them off the Christmas card list. But I think for me, rejection is data. No just means not right now or not from that angle. I pitch hundreds of stories a week, thousands of stories a month. Editors and reporters get thousands, if not hundreds of thousands pitches or reports a day, things that they should be covering.
Newsrooms are small. There are only so many people at magazines. Like, it isn't one of the most populous or populously staffed industries, Right? It's notoriously a few people not making great money, but trying to share the news of the world with us or creative things or teach us things. And so all that information going back and forth, they don't have time to read everything, so they're not going to respond to every email. Someone not responding to your email isn't a rejection. Like, if my husband doesn't respond to my email, like, then maybe you're sleeping on the couch. I'm pretty important. I should be.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:10:13]:
Top of your inbox. You know, if the editor at the Wall Street Journal doesn't get back to me in six hours, he's busy, right? And I might have the greatest interview ever, but he's busy. So I follow up in five to seven business days, I'll follow up with him. If I don't hear the second time, I'll follow up a third time. Because until they tell me no, or someone says, why are you stalking me? Or I get an actual restraining order because I'm harassing someone, which has never happened in the history of public relations that I'm aware of, it just means it's not right now, or they haven't seen it, or it's not the right angle. And nine times out of 10, a reporter's gonna write back to you and be like, I don't cover this anymore. This doesn't fit for me. Maybe a different angle.
Or here's my peer you should be pitching this to. You know, it's all just a learning point. In fact, I actually like a no because for me, the not hearing back is okay. I don't know if this hit. I don't know if you're busy. There's no closure there. Yes. Awesome.
Everyone celebrate. No. Okay, recalibrate the not knowing. Weird situation. I don't really like how that feels. But that's why you follow up. There's nothing wrong with following up. Everyone loves a follow up.
In fact, in public relations, I have a 75% success rate on my second email.
Yvonne Heimann [00:11:23]:
Simply because I'm like, yeah, I kind of get that. Because again, PR is a lot of pitching. PR is reaching out to connections you already have, but also a lot of cold pitching. I assume so. Their inboxes are full every single time. No matter if that is digital media, if that is tv, if that is print media. So it's like, heck yeah, I know how even just my email inbox looks Monday morning. Right? So just, I can see that.
Just, just showing the interest of, hey, this is not just a one time cold pitch. I'm here to help you. Because they're also just trying to quote, do their job. Right? When I was working with a local TV station, it's like the one on TV was literally everything with finding the stories, developing the stories and providing the stories on screen. It's like those people have like five jobs all in one. So you showing them, hey, I'm here, yes, I'm working with you. Yes, I actually mean this. How many, I don't know how many other agencies are actually following up on that one?
KJ Blattenbauer [00:12:33]:
No, I mean, and who knows? I mean just think about it. This week I am slammed in the best way. It's holiday time. I have a second business there at holiday markets. You know, my clients are kicking ass on the holiday gift guide list on just launching on New Year New you. I have my interior design clients already pitching for March and April publications. Like we are rocking and rolling. I haven't even checked my email today unless it's like scanning for someone that I'm waiting for on a deadline.
I know I have deadlines. I have to hit this afternoon for clients and I will hit them. But no one is just sitting there waiting to see an email come through their inbox unless they know that email is coming. So I think there's this perception from people like, okay, I got up the nerve, I pitched this editor and said editor is just sitting in their basement with nothing else going on waiting for someone to just email them so they can write an article that's just shiny about you. You know what I mean? It's just so, it's almost a little self centered to be so offended that someone didn't respond to your email right away.
Yvonne Heimann [00:13:40]:
Ladies, if you are just listening to this episode right now, I know I'm repeating myself regularly. You should be watching because you don't see my faces that I make because it's like I'm sitting here and I'm like, yeah, don't get me wrong, I was at one point in the same kind of ego of do you know who you're talking to? Do you know how important I am?
KJ Blattenbauer [00:13:59]:
Like, look at me like Steve Jobs here to take over the world.
Yvonne Heimann [00:14:03]:
And it's, it's interesting because what I invite my listener. You know what ladies? Here's a fun thing for you. There are some people in my life where I'm like, oh, my God, I know exactly who that is with the name. They are big in my niche. They. Everybody knows them. And I go out to have a coffee with a friend, and I'm like, did you see that person talk about this? And they're like, who the fuck are you talking about? And it's like, VIP person. How many different followers? All the things.
And it's. They were never in their circles, never in their area of reach. And I'm like, how can you not? But that's, again, our perception. That's our circles. It's like, yeah, you might be somebody in one area, but you are nobody in another area. And it doesn't matter. Just put in the work.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:14:51]:
Yeah, right. And it's. And it's funny, you know, you put in the work, but, like, do it. And how do you go from, oh, I don't have the confidence. I can't do this, and then you hype yourself up to do the pitch. And then I'll. All of a sudden you're like, no. Before you respond to Elon Musk, you should be responding to my pitch.
Like, that emotional roller coaster is energy that would be better spent anywhere else. Right? Like, approach public relations. Approach promoting your business. Approach talking and thinking about what you're passionate about, what you do, how you serve people. Like, you're having a conversation with your best friend about something you're passionate about all the time. Even Keel, like, don't ride the waves. Don't play into that game. Like, save that for social media.
When Meta gaslights you about how we're changing the picture or the metric or the whatever. Like, public relations is all roses. You get to, like, they are encouraging you to talk about what you think is cool, what you're good at, what you're passionate about. And then reputable agencies like magazines, tv, podcasts like this are going to endorse how cool you are. Like, and it's free. You're not paying for it. Like, it's a win, win, win, win, win, win, win, all the way to the bank, like the lottery.
Yvonne Heimann [00:15:55]:
So you already kind of touched onto this. What would you tell my listeners to do right now? It's like, okay, cool, I've been hiding behind the scenes. I want to do this PR thing. I want to promote myself. I want to step out there. What do you think is the. The first step they should do? Is it really just, like, quote, telling the story or just go show up where where does somebody start? It's like, okay, I'm done hiding.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:16:24]:
Well, first of all, you got to get your house in order, right? If you're done hiding, you got to get your house in order. So I, when I decided I was done hiding, the first thing I did was what am I done hiding from? Like, what is my one true goal? And sitting down, I can make anyone famous for anything. I can make myself famous for anything. What do I want to be famous for? And do I even want to be famous? Or do I just want to be well known enough to help the right people? I don't want to be famous. I want to be well known enough to help the right people. For me, it's more about the message and, and helping people from 0, 6 or 7 figures and beyond know that PR isn't sorcery, it's not magic. It's these very simple steps anybody can do for $0. That's my mission, that's my goal.
So once that I know what that goal is, nothing keeps me from that goal. I don't say yes to anything that doesn't align with that goal. I don't add new products or services. I don't add new platforms. I don't dance on TikTok, because I'm never going to dance on TikTok. But I also say no to things that don't align because anything that isn't a hell yes, this is taking us towards our goal is a hell no in my book. So the second thing that I did after I just truly sat down with like, what do you really want to do with your life? What do you really want to be known for after you've established that goal? You get your house in order. My website, my social media, especially my LinkedIn, my email newsletter, any third party websites where I might be listed as a speaker or if I'm promoting something or if they have an author page for my book.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:17:52]:
Same messages across the board. So no matter where anyone lands when they Google me, it's the same bio, it's the same one sentence about what I do. And right now, because I want people to put like, I want them to recognize my voice, I want them to recognize my face, I want to become a known person. I use the same headshot across the board, same imagery. And having all those things aligned to some people might seem boring to others. It might not be the variety of no, it's authority, it's visibility. You have to touch people so many times before they recognize you. Use all of your platforms, use all of the things external facing, but also the first person.
Whether you're looking for a job, whether you want to be in the media, whether you're looking to get clients, they're going to Google you. And if they see you in one light on one platform and they see you in another light on another platform, you already have a trust issue. Because that's just human nature. When it's not consistent consistent, our bodies produce red flags. So consistency across, that's the first thing. And the best thing about that is it's going to take a person an hour. Like one week an hour. Get all your ducks in a row for your house, make sure that it's all in line.
Then set yourself a calendar reminder. Check it once a quarter. Like, this is not something you have to do every day. You don't have to learn it. No one's selling you a course. Like, you're not going to pay 9.97 and join a Facebook group and have an extra Slack channel. Like, no, just do it yourself while you're watching reality TV or having a glass of wine.
Yvonne Heimann [00:19:14]:
I, I love the, the kind of smirking behind it where it's like, yeah, you don't need another course. You don't need to join another Facebook. It's really, it's really simple and it's been interesting because that sounds really simple and I've, that's one of the things I've been struggling so much with. However, I think we finally found, found this one thing. I think we finally found it and I think I finally also got it into simple language. So I'm really happy about this because similar as you, right, I tested a whole bunch of things, I've done a whole bunch of things and it's like, okay, what do I actually want to be known for? So I'm happy to know I'm on the right path. Now we just need to do a whole bunch of updating everywhere and all the way. And it's, it's also for everybody listening.
That's like, cool. That's all public. It actually also helps behind the scenes because what I realized when I'm like, okay, this is what I want to be known for, this is what it is. Which has changed for me from the ClickUp consultant. I'm like, the box doesn't fit anymore. It also helps behind the scenes. It helps me figure out where do I want to spend my time, where do I want to put my effort? Does this still serve my goal or does it not? And it's, it saves me so much time. It Saves me so much energy to be clear on that and just say no to things that don't align with it.
And suddenly I have more time to talk with amazing women and really focus on the podcast because I dropped the other stuff off the back end. So it's, it's a double help. Not just pr, but also behind the scene scenes.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:20:55]:
Yep, yep. I think as women too, we women can do anything. We can adapt to anything. You know, we can use my dating, we can use my dating life, my dating history as our case in point, as our case study right now, right? Like growing up, you date all kinds of people. You can be with a jock and be sporty, you can be the science guy and be a science nerd. You can, you know, we're all going to date the musician and think we're his muse and just like the rock star life, right? Like women can adapt to anything, anything. And we can do it steadily. Also, women can solve any problem.
Like if you are in a pitch, all you have to do is find a mom in some situation and she's got snacks, band aids, something to clean that she could probably sew you back in your dress. Like, no one is more efficient than women on all fronts. We can do anything we want to. The problem is that somewhere someone told us we can't do what we want or what we should do. And that's why I think for most people, trying to decide what you really want to be when you grow up, you up trying to decide what you really want to do with your life, you know, you get one wild and crazy life. What's the thing that you want to do? What lights you up? I think that's the hardest thing for women. And I finally can say in my 40s, I wake up every morning, I love my life, I love my partner. He's amazing.
But I know I love my dogs. I wake up every morning, I can do whatever the hell I want with whoever the hell I want, however the hell I want it, until I'm done. And I want to stop. And it is the greatest thing. And I wish 20 year old KJ. I wish 30 year old KJ. I wish someone had taken her aside. She probably wouldn't have listened, especially 20 year old KJ.
But I wish I would not have at that age, I wouldn't have. Hey, idiot. You can do anything you want to do. Who cares what these people think? Go do what you want to do. And also sleep in on Saturdays. No one needs to get up early for that. Best life I'm living the best life, girl.
Yvonne Heimann [00:22:40]:
I feel that so much because I had a conversation this morning with a friend. I'm staying right now. And he's like, oh my God. I'm just getting up at 9am and I'm like, I don't care. It's Friday morning. No alarm Friday. I literally chose. I do not have an alarm set on Friday.
Friday is fluid. Screw everybody else. You guys do what you want to do. Friday is a no alarm day. And you know what? I get to make that decision. Yeah.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:23:04]:
I am the queen of my own life. Thank you. Welcome to my kingdom.
Yvonne Heimann [00:23:09]:
And with that, if you ladies listening, watching, all the things are finally ready to to step into being the queen of your life, remember to hit the follow button if you don't have yet. I have another couple amazing women coming. You also know you're gonna find all of KJ's information right in the description everywhere you are watching or listening. KJ, thank you so much for joining. Oh my God. I always love having women on that know how to fucking curse and do not hold back because every podcast episode is marked explicit for that reason. Thanks so much for coming on and everybody else, I'll see you back in the next episode.
KJ Blattenbauer [00:23:48]:
Thank you for having me.