Yvonne Heimann [00:00:00]:
Hello and welcome back, beautiful. How does that make you feel? I know I always struggle with being called beautiful, being called gorgeous, being with, with any of the names when we speak to a community, when we speak to somebody we care about. And remember in one of my last solo episodes where I talked about not being too much. Well, today I want to dive deeper into the fear that keeps so many of us playing small. The fear of being seen. The fear of stepping into your power. The fear of just receiving.
If that is me calling you beautiful or gorgeous, or if that is just receiving, receiving a compliment, you know, it's that, that feeling when you step into a room, share your ideas or show up fully as yourself. And something inside whispers, I'm not good enough. Who am I to talk about this? What makes me so special? And here's the truth. The fear of being seen is actually your power in disguise. And today I'm going to show you how we flip that script, how we flip that fear into your greatest strength. So if you are ready to stop hiding in the shadows and start off owning every single room you walk into and feel good about it, let's dive into it, shall we?
Yvonne Heimann [00:02:06]:
Now, let's talk about the anatomy of fear. What's actually happening? Now, fear is a primary brain response. Your body is going into a certain physical state.
You say, oh my God, I'm afraid of this. And there it is. So there is two parts of this. Number one is our brain. Our brain is still a Neanderthal, meaning everything that's new, everything that's different, everything that we haven't experienced, our brain thinks it's going to kill us. Which means your brain is putting your body into fight or flight. Now that's that, that tribal survival mode. Our bodies are still Neanderthals.
Now in combination with that, there is also the physical aspect of things where when you think about it, fear and anxiety feel physically the same as excitement, butterflies in your stomach. That can be fear and that can be excitement about something. We are the ones that put a label on it, us, based on our experience, based on our past, make a split second decision if it's a fear or if it's an excitement. Let me tell you this specific reprogramming to consistently and constantly bring forward what is fear, what is serious fear. Where am I really going to die? Let me tell you, most of the time we don't ever. And where is it just simply something new, a new experience, something we haven't had before has been a journey and a practice for me for a couple of years now. And I still to this day have the full on physical reaction as a fight or flight. When I go on stage. I cannot eat in the morning.
Yvonne Heimann [00:04:32]:
I have that nervous stomach. I prefer speaking fairly early in the day, not too early so I can do my morning routine and have my coffee, but, but not too late that I don't eat till 4 o' clock in the afternoon because again, nervous stomach. I'm getting to a point where I finally can eat something. But yeah, it's like I've been on stages so much. I have more than a thousand videos I have produced out there. I'm constantly on call with clients, I'm producing a podcast, I'm producing a YouTube channel. And still to this day there is still that physical reaction of oh my God, I'm hitting the record button. Oh my God, I'm going on stage.
However, what has changed is how I work with it, that first of all, I reframed. This is not anxiety, this is excitement. I get to talk to so many people. I get to soak up their energies and be here and help them rather than, oh my God, they're out to. Really little, little animal brain. Nobody is going to kill me on stage with how many people watching. So yeah, I, I take a little bit of humor to it too now. Yeah, imposter syndrome feeds into this too, where I tell myself often enough, I'm like, I'm not qualified enough that they'll discover I'm a fraud.
It's what if I fail publicly? Guess what? Nobody came here to see you fail. And there's always going to be somebody that doesn't like you. So why, why not show up either way? Why not have an impact either way? And it is really, it is a mindset work. It is, it is a lot of work that I have done and that I do with my clients when, where I bring my NLP knowledge in, where we reframe these limiting beliefs, where we realize that anxiety, fear and excitement feels the same way. And we reframe a lot of things. And one of the questions I love bringing up is what if the fear and the anxiety you are experiencing is simply a sign for you that this matters, that this has impact, that this is something that is really close to your heart, which is why you care about it now. How do we, how do we reframe this? How do we work with it? Because I'm like, great, I can tell you fear and anxiety feels the same as excitement. That doesn't mean that you have the knowledge right away to just flip the script and change it within a second.
Yvonne Heimann [00:07:44]:
Yes, you can. Because you in your power can make a decision and change something like this. Just like how many people tell you you can't stop smoking overnight. I stopped smoking overnight. I literally finished a pack of cigarette and didn't touch them again. You can. So don't let me tell you you can't. You can.
It is your decision though. And that's where, where the mind comes in again, where yes, you make a decision. And sometimes it feels like when we can't stick with that decision because old habits come back. And that's where the practice comes in of reprogramming your thinking. You literally have hundreds and thousands of highways in your brain. And you gonna use the highways. That's the fastest and the highest highway that is the fastest are the thought patterns that you have built over the last, what in my case, 40 plus years. You can see it literally out on the street, how long it takes to rebuild these highways.
Your brain can be the same. And that's where the habit comes in. So how do we, how do we turn this fear into power, into something that serves you, number one, because you fear the compass, it points you to what matters most. If you're fearful being on stage, it matters because you are making an impact. If you are fearful about showing up on camera, it matters because you are making an impact. Now we also, I also with my clients and myself often have a practice of growth, meaning we, and I personally constantly stretch that comfort zone. I am not the most spontaneous, especially when it comes to travel. Just last week, within a week, I got a message on Monday morning by a client is like, hey, why don't you fly in for the next week? By Friday I was on a plane that definitely stretched my comfort zone.
Yvonne Heimann [00:10:08]:
Oh my God, did that stretch my comfort zone. And I had 10,000 different excuses why not to do it. And I'm like, nope, we are not doing this. This is just spontaneous enough. I can do it. I want to go. And I went and I had a blast. Fear of showing up, fear of being public.
Fear of sharing your point of view, your story, your experience and your authenticity serves others often enough. When I fall back into this habit of why do I matter? Why would I share this? What if somebody whips me a second one? I fall back to me showing up gives others the strength and the permission slip to show up themselves self. And not only that, if you really show up as yourself, you share your stories, you share your struggles, you share your personality, you will attract the right people. And when it comes to social media, you just block the dumbasses. Seriously. Let me tell you one story where this had a major impact. Back when we were going through cancer, when my late husband was going through cancer, we shared our story as much as possible publicly.
We fell on the bandwagon because so much happened with treatment that I couldn't keep up anymore. However, we did as much as we could. And somewhere in that process, I got an email from somebody I didn't know, never heard their name, never saw them in my comment section. She reached out and said, I just shared with my family that I've been going through cancer treatment for the last year. Not even her family. I still get goosebumps. Not even her family knew that she was going through cancer. And because of us sharing our story with cancer, she decided to share with her family and finally got help and resources.
Yvonne Heimann [00:12:17]:
That's, that's, that's what happens when you share your story. Yeah, to this day, it still gives me goosebumps. Well, let's move into the practical aspect of this. So how do you. What are the practical steps so you can step into your power? Number one, give your fear a name. Call it out. The fear and anxiety becomes this big bad monster when you don't put a name to it. The moment you can put a name to it, it's normalized, it's humanized, it's there and it's not just this big black shadow anymore.
Become curious about it. Become curious about your fear and ask, what specifically am I afraid will happen? And often enough you're gonna start giggling about yourself because again, nobody is coming to watch me speak, to kill me on stage. It's not gonna kill me. Go through the worst case scenarios. Go have a list with your worst case scenarios. And again, often enough we either way start laughing or it's like, cool, I can handle that. Not a problem. Start small, but start.
Get out of your head. The problem started in your head. You're not going to solve it in your head. Let me say that again. The problem and the fear started in your head. It is not going to be solved in your head. You need to take action. You need to show yourself physically that you can handle it.
Yvonne Heimann [00:13:59]:
Because let me tell you, I know you can handle it. And with doing it, you start collecting evidence of your resilience. And if you're like, yeah, but I'm not. I guarantee you sit down for half an hour and collect the evidence. Start taking screenshots of the impact you are having on people. Start taking notes of where you felt like Fuck yeah, I did that. Start physically collecting the evidence of your resilience because I know you are resilient. And if there is more behind it where you physically feel like you can't do it, reach out.
We can do timeline therapy. We can do some of my NLP frameworks that I have where we go back to the first initial instance of that specific emotion and we clean it up. There is often enough within your first seven years of life, we've been programmed to believe certain things and we can go back and reprogram this. To get it out of your body, to get that emotion out, to work through and release it. You are meant to be seen, to be visible and to have an impact. Remember, the people following you and the people not yet following you need you. They want to hear from you, they want to learn from you. Go out there and do share your vulnerability about being seen.
Yvonne Heimann [00:15:46]:
Tell the story. Take your audience, take your clients, take your community on this journey with you. Keep working. We are all just humans. No matter how many videos I have created, no matter how many stage I've been on, I still experience fear. I have learned how to first of all analyze it, work through it and work with it. And every single time I up level, I attract better clients, better team members in such an amazing community and audience, you included. So with that gorgeous.
How did that feel this time? This is about giving you permission to show up, to show up fully, to share your impact, to share your story, to share yourself and find and build your community. Because the moment you are in your power, you have that impact. I want you to have. I'll see you in the next episode.